


Dreams of Brooklyn

by Libelli



Series: Stucky Angst [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Dreams, Hydra (Marvel), M/M, Memories, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Stucky - Freeform, Temporary Amnesia, Torture, brain washing, remembering, stucky angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-03
Updated: 2018-08-03
Packaged: 2019-06-21 01:11:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15546300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Libelli/pseuds/Libelli
Summary: The Winter Soldier has a dream of a place and man he does not know. Yet, they seem too familiar, and he begins to remember another life, until he is again Bucky Barnes.





	Dreams of Brooklyn

The Winter Soldier opened his eyes and he immediately went into attack mode. He was in a place he did not recognize, an apartment it looked like, neat and orderly, everything had its place. Like it was well cared for. 

A civilian’s apartment. 

The Winter Soldier was not sure what was worse, escaping from a military facility or a civilian apartment complex where he stuck out like a sore thumb.  _ Whatever _ , he thought,  _ I need to get back to base, they’ll be looking for m _ e. 

The Winter Soldier went to the door his hand was on the knob, and he was about to walk out when he heard the floorboards creaked as someone else entered the room from another part of the apartment. 

“Oh,” the person said. 

The Winter Soldier spun around and pulled out a knife. Standing in the doorway was a short and skinny young man, his eyes were wide as he looked over the Winter Soldier. 

The Winter Soldier did not have a conscious thought but the idea did pass through his head: Is he a threat? The Winter Soldier did a once over of the young man. He was sure he could snap his neck with one hand. The young man wheezed a cough into his elbow.  _ I don’t think it will come to that _ .

“You’re home early,” the young man said. 

_ Huh? _

“How was your day?” The Winter Soldier raised his knife and watched the young man as he walked across the room and leaned against the wall. “Hey, you okay? You’re quiet.”

_ What’s his game? Why is he talking to me like we’re friends? No one is friends with me. Does this man have a trick that could easily defeat me? Explaining his ease? _ The man took a step towards the Winter Soldier and the Winter Soldier took a step back. The back of his boot hit the door.  _ He’s got my back against the wall I have to figure out how to switch this around.  _

The man kept walking up to the Winter Soldier. Step by step. The Winter Soldier watched him, he wanted to run, dive out a window, but he was stuck watching this man.  _ Move _ ! One part of him screamed. Another part silently kept him rooted in place. 

The man looked at the knife in the Winter Soldier’s hand like it was something annoying, not a weapon that could kill him. The man met the Winter Soldier’s gaze and it was like electricity coursed through his body.  _ I know him _ . The man curled his fingers around the knife’s handle and pulled it out of the Winter Soldier’s hand. The Winter Soldiers hand was up like he still had his knife. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know what he could do. No one had gotten this close before. 

_ Idiot _ ,  _ get another knife. Where do I get another knife? In that drawer all the way on the right.  _ The Winter Soldier moved towards the knife drawer.  _ Wait how do I know that.  _

The Winter Soldier turned back to the man. He was smiling. Not the proud, over satisfied smiles of the scientists, or the amused smiles of the people the Winter Soldier served, but a small smile. Warm and unprovoked. The knife from earlier had vanished. It was just the man, the apartment, and the Winter Soldier. 

_ I know you. I know this place. How. How do I know. I’ve never been here. I don’t know you. I shouldn’t know you.  _

The Winter Soldier wanted to run. His mind was turning a mile a minute. There were too many thoughts to think at once. His throat felt tight and his fingers twitched. 

“It’s okay, Bucky.” The man said. 

“Who’s Bucky?” the Winter Soldier asked. He braced himself for a rebuke for asking a question. 

“You. You’re Bucky.” was all the man said. 

_ I’m Bucky? _ the Winter Soldier thought.  _ What kind of name is Bucky? _ Not his. His name was- 

“Bucky.” The young man said. “It’s okay. You’re home.”

_ Home? Is this my home? _ The Winter Soldier looked at the apartment. He knew where the knife drawer was. And that there was a small stack of books in the corner with their pages dog eared. And that there was apples on the table. And that there was a half-stale box of corn flakes in the cabinets. And that there was an ink stain on one of the little rugs they got for cheap.  _ This is my home. _

The Winter Soldier looked back at the man. The man was smiling with tears in his eyes. He reached out and touched the Winter Soldiers arm. The Winter Soldier flinched but the man meant him no harm. He only kept his hand touching the Winter Soldier.

_ What…? _

“Do you remember me?” 

It was more of a feeling than a proper memory. Laughter bubbled up inside of the Winter Soldier’s chest and warmth spread from his core to every part of his body. There was sunshine. And lemonade. He had grabbed the man from behind and had almost tackled him. They both laughed until their sides hurt. 

“That was a good day wasn’t it?” 

The Winter Soldier nodded. How had the man done that? Planted that in his head?

The man stepped closer, his other hand on the Winter Soldier’s other arm. Tears slid down the man’s cheeks and it was like a knife was twisting inside the Winter Soldier’s chest. 

“Do you remember me, Bucky?”

_ Bucky? _

“Please, say you remember me.”

_ I’m Bucky? _

Another flash. Of whispers in the dark. They were close to each other a blanket between the both of them. The man was so warm and Bucky wanted to pull him in closer. The draft was getting through his socks. 

_ I’m Bucky…? _

“Please don’t leave me again.”

A hug. In a bone-chilling, leaky tent. In France? The man was bigger? How?- it didn’t really matter. He and the man held each other in death grips. The man whispered words like a prayer into Bucky’s shoulder. “Bucky,” “Oh my God,” “I love you,” “Don’t do that again.” over and over. And all Bucky said on monotone repeat was: “I know, I know…” They should have been mad at each other.

_ I’m Bucky. _

The man craned himself upward and the Winter Soldier experimentally lowered his head so that both of their foreheads touched.  _ Will it be the same as…? _ The man’s touch was gentle and the Winter Soldier let out a small laugh that might have been from relief. The man smiled as more tears came. 

“Remember me.”

The man pressed a chaste kiss against the Winter Soldier’s lips.

It was like a weight was lifted off of the Winter Soldier’s shoulders. He felt like he could float and never come down. The Winter Soldier,  _ no I’m Bucky _ , grinned and wrapped his arms around the man. The man looked up at him and Bucky saw a lifetime in his gaze. Everything. Not a single moment that did not envelope him in a blanket of warmth. Tears trailed down Bucky’s face as he held the man in his arms. Everything.

“Do you remember me?” the man laughed.

“ _ Yeah _ ,” Bucky breathed nodding his head, “how could I ever forget you?”

Bucky leaned down and kissed him. He kissed back, curling his fingers into Bucky’s shirt. When they pulled apart, Bucky kissed the top of his head before holding him against his chest. He was still warm, wrapped up in Bucky’s arms like he used to be. Bucky swayed, and he still held onto him. 

The memory of the man’s name rested in Bucky’s mouth. Bucky looked down at the man, and his name burst into Bucky’s mind like a flashbulb. Bucky smiled, the man was oblivious to his realization. 

Bucky opened his mouth to form the first sound. 

  
  


He awoke with the name on his lips. 

“Who’s Steve?”

Bucky snapped to attention and looked at the scientist sitting at his desk looking over files. The scientist’s glasses gleamed in the low light. Bucky’s eyes swept the room. Dark, concrete walls. Orange, buzzing lamps. The air thick with cold mildew. A hard, metal chair beneath him. Bucky’s stomach tightened.

_ I never left.  _

“I repeat myself,” the scientist said, his voice sharper.  _ I’m not tied down, I can- _ “ _ Who is Steve _ ?”

At the mention of ‘Steve’, Bucky froze. He ground his teeth down, and blinked away the hot tears in his eyes. The plates in his arm shifted as he balled his hands into fists. 

“No one.” 

The scientist raised an eyebrow. “ _ Ti govorish pa-Ruski _ ?”

_ Shit _ . Bucky hadn’t realized he answered in English. “ _ No one _ .” he corrected himself, speaking in Russian this time. 

_ “Much better. _ ” the scientist said.

Bucky wiped the sweat off of his forehead and stared down at the cracks in the floor beneath him. Already, he knew his dream was fading. He closed his eyes and tried to picture the apartment, but it was hard, just barely there. Bucky was not sure how many chairs were at the table or how many windows had been in the room. 

What he could picture clearly was Steve. His Steve. A shiver ran down Bucky’s back just picturing Steve’s face.  _ How did I forget you? _ Bucky thought. He pressed his lips together, but the tears still came. Bucky lowered his head, and hoped that the scientist could not see. 

_ Steve…I’m going to get out. I’m going to. And when I do- _

The electronic lock on the door buzzed. Bucky’s eyes flew open. 

_ No. _

“Oh, he’s awake.” one of the HYDRA higher-ups sighed as he walked into the room. Bucky wanted to shrink into a corner and stop anyone’s eyes crawling over him; he remained still. “ _ Asset _ ,” the higher-up snapped, “ _ eyes forward _ .”

Bucky swallowed and looked at the higher-up, surrounded by armed guards. He kept his face still, and hoped beyond all possibility that the higher-up would not notice he had been crying. 

“Christ, you look like a kicked dog.” Bucky kept his face forward, but dropped his gaze. “What the Hell did you do to him.”

“Nothing! He just woke up and started crying.” the scientist said.

“Did he do anything else?”

“He mentioned a name.” the scientist said. “Steve.”

Bucky closed his eyes, and let tears trail down his face. It didn’t matter. They had already seen him. Bucky’s chest burned with sobs he could not let out.

“Steve? That’s odd.” the higher-up said. He paused and Bucky knew he was looking at him, studying Bucky, rubbing his beard and figuring out his next order. “Whatever, wipe him.”

Bucky’s eyes flew open. His heart pounded in his ears. Bucky pressed himself into his chair, away from the approaching scientist. Tears blurred Bucky’s vision, but he could still see the green smudge that was his mouth guard. 

“ _ No. No no no no no no… _ ” he moaned shaking his head.

The scientist paused. “No?” he asked. 

The scientist nodded to one of the armed guards. The guard strode across the room, Bucky looked up and saw the blank expression on the guard’s face as he raised his weapon. The butt of the guard’s gun cracked across Bucky’s face, if the chair had not been there, Bucky would have fallen to the ground. Instead, he let out a long, steady sigh, and straightened himself back up to eye-level with the scientist. Bucky’s face screamed as the bruises began to rise to the surface.  

The scientist grinned. “Huh, I thought for sure that would’ve broken your nose. Amazing.” he said.

Bucky’s jaw radiated aching pain as he opened his mouth. The scientist placed the mouth guard into Bucky’s mouth, and stepped away. Bucky rested against his chair, and bit down on the mouth guard before the device was in place. He closed his eyes, and pictured Steve one more time.

_ Remember me _ . He thought.  _ Please, remember me _ ...

The plates on the device pressed Bucky’s tears into his skin. They were cool.

_...Steve... _

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Ti govorish pa-Ruski= Do you speak Russian
> 
> My friend natisrapunzel translated it for me.


End file.
